The next few hours were tense. Kathryn couldn’t even look at him without an automatic smile creeping across her face. He thought it made her that much more beautiful, and had a hard time keeping his thoughts on the digital read out in his hand. He swore he could hear her thoughts, feel her– confusion? No that wasn’t it… disbelief? Sure. Disbelief that she herself had broken a cardinal rule of command. But at the same time, he got the feeling that she didn’t really care. He was brought out of his reverie by realizing she was staring at him.
“I’m sorry Captain, what did you say?”
“I said would you please come to my ready room with me for a moment?”
She raised an eyebrow at him and he knew he was pushing her patience. But damn was she gorgeous.
“Aye, Captain.”
He got up and followed her. He had to slow his heart down out of fear she would hear it. As they crossed the threshold and the doors closed, she turned on him. Her hand on his chest, her eyes searching for something in his.
“Kath–” was all he got out before she cut him off.
“I need to know something right now; were you serious before? About me not being alone? Were you serious about all of that?”
As he looked at her, he recognized the fear in her eyes. It wasn’t smiles he had seen- It was nerves. She was terrified, and he hated it. Someone made her this way, and the damage was long lasting.
She had stepped back from him, and he hated that too. So, he stepped to her, wrapped his arms around her, kissed her softly.
“Kathryn Janeway, I have never been more serious in my life. I will never leave your side, and whatever demons you’re fighting, we will fight them together.” He said as he held her a little tighter. She didn’t resist, and laid her head on his chest. If his heart could fly, it would be an eagle soaring majestically through the cosmos.
It took him a minute to realize she had started to cry, and by the time he noticed it, she had hidden it like she always did. He expected her to push him away, but instead, she wrapped her arms through his and hugged him back. They stayed that way for awhile, it seemed like milliseconds, but it had been about 5 minutes when she gently shook loose of him.
“Chakotay,” she whispered, “I can’t lose anyone else.”
Before he could say anything, she returned to the bridge, and left him in the ready room.
bekjaneway 