More

kjaneway314:

Kathryn Janeway had no idea when this had happened. How could she have let this go so far? Something had to be done, yes, something had to be done.

Somewhere over the years, she had lost her judgment. She had given in.

But what was she to do?

Suddenly, she found herself thinking back to when it had all began. When her biggest problem had first presented itself.

It had been years ago, in the middle of a duty shift, right there on the bridge.

It had been a completely uneventful and unbelievably boring shift until Paris had made one of his typical childish jokes that had left the entire bridge crew consumed in fits of laughter.

She, unaware of the impacts, had reached out and placed her hand on Chakotay’s shoulder.

He had turned his face to look at her, surprised at first as she was, but then smiled gently. Showing a hint of those dimples. And in that moment, she had lost control for only a split-second, but that was everything.

She had felt something.

Something long repressed and long denied.

Damn those dimples.

Since then, she had found herself reaching out to him more and more.

Wanting, desperately, to recreate the feeling of that first time.

Wanting, desperately, to feel again.

It had started simply. A comforting hand here, and a gentle brush there.

But it had quickly become more.

Weekly dinners, started on the pretext of ship functionality, had all been her idea. Her way of maximizing their time spent together.

Her hand on his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart, had the power to bring the most complete feeling of calm.

Hand holding, even on duty, as a means of her own comfort. As a reminder. She wasn’t alone.

Staying on the bridge, way beyond the end of her shift. Not because she wasn’t exhausted, as she always pretended, but because he still had two hours left.

Sitting, maybe just a little too close, because he was her pillar of strength. And because she belonged there.

She really ought to get this under control. After all, a captain could not afford even the smallest distraction.

But maybe it was time she just admitted it.

She needed Chakotay to lean on.

Figuratively.

and literally

-K