(I refuse to believe that those 15 years didn’t do more damage to Chakotay than we were ever shown. And, I also believe more went on during that ‘dinner’ than we actually ever saw.)
“Tell me about her.” Tessa looks across at him, she leans back against the bulkhead of the shuttle and watches him closely.
Chakotay turns away, back to the comfort of the familiar console. He can’t go there. Even now, 15 years later, he can’t talk about her. He’s holding her back, but he can feel her presence, hear her whisper his name.
“There’s nothing to tell,” he finally replies. He closes his eyes to block out the image of her body, perfectly preserved in her frozen grave, but it doesn’t work. Nothing works. She’s there in his mind, haunting him, refusing to leave. He doesn’t want her to leave. The pain of seeing her again is so achingly beautiful, he finally feels something other than emptiness.
“You can’t fool me, Chakotay. You might be able to fool yourself, but you can’t fool me. Tell me about her,” Tessa presses. She’s never been this forceful before, but time is running out.
Chakotay sighs, “I’ve told you, there’s nothing to tell. She was the Captain, I was her First Officer. That’s it. That’s all.”
“She was more than that. Come on, Chakotay. I saw how you looked at her today. I can tell it’s bothering you.” Tessa pushes. Usually she would back off at this point, but not now, not today.
Chakotay offers a sharp bark of a laugh. Bothering him? That was an understatement. Their names start to roll through his mind. And she’s there again, arms folded, smiling infuriatingly at him. He shakes his head and squeezes his eyes shut.
“They are all dead!” he snaps. “Of course it bothered me!”
Tessa gets to her feet and moves to the chair next to him. She leans over and places her hand onto his arm.
“Talk to me, tell me about her,” Tessa says, her voice soft.
Chakotay shakes his head, swallowing back the lump growing in his throat. The image of her laid at an awkward angle amongst the ice growing clearer in his mind. Her face, frozen in time, begins to thaw before his eyes, the blue hue of her skin transforming into the soft pink of life, her closed eyes softening back to the beautiful shade he always admired, her hair loosening back into the colour and style he remembers, but has spent 15 years trying to forget.
“I can’t!” he gasps, desperate to keep her ghost at bay.
“Yes you can,” Tessa urges, her grip on his arm strengthening.
“Why? Why do you want to know?” He pleads, the anguish clear in his voice.
“Because, when this works, you will be back with her and not with me. I won’t recall any of this. I’m giving up everything for her. I’d like to know her. Like you knew her.”
“But you won’t remember,” he reasons, battling with the images that threaten to overwhelm him. He thinks he hears her call his name again, but shakes his head to rid himself of that torturing thought.
“I will for a few hours. That’s good enough for me. Tell me about her.” Tessa says gently. She strokes his arm and he can’t hold it back any longer.
The image in his mind blossoms into full colour. Her voice is there in his ears, in his mind. She’s always been there, “Have you missed me?” she asks, that flirty smile playing across her lips.
“Yes,” he gasps out loud. He feels Tessa’s hand on his arm and he pulls away as if she is burning him. He grips the console, shocked and confused at the images in his mind and her voice in his ears.
Tessa reaches out again, “Talk to me. Tell me.”
He’s battling with his inner demons. Battling the raw emotion that never went away, that didn’t ease with time as the councillors said. And she’s there. Sat across from him at a dinner table. Disregarding his concerns with a wave of a hand and a flirty smile. She’s drinking wine, eyes sparkling, talking to him of how they had waited too long.
“Are you with me?” she asks and he curses the universe that he never had the courage to fight her on it. She was so happy and he loved seeing her that way, he gave the only answer he could.
“Always.”
And Gods help him, he meant it.
“Chakotay…” her voice is soft, she’s out of her seat and in front of him, her hand stroking his cheek. Any concerns blown out the airlock as the pure scent of her assaults his whole being.
“Have you missed me?” she asks, his mind creating things that never happened. Or did they? He’s lived so long loving her ghost, he can’t determine what is real anymore.
“Yes,” he gasps, she smiles and strokes his cheek.
“Our last night in the Delta Quadrant, how should we celebrate?” she asks and there is no doubt of the intentions in her voice.
“How would you like to celebrate?” he asks, his hand reaching up to cover hers on his cheek.
She smiles softly and gazes at him from beneath her eyelashes. She licks her lips, “Together,” she answers. “Are you with me?”
“Always.”
The image twists, he’s in her bed, she’s beneath him and surrounding him, he’s in heaven, she’s holding onto him and he’s barely clinging onto to any form of coherency.
“This time tomorrow,” she rocks her hips against him, “We can be together,” she gasps, reaching up to kiss him. “Earth.”
“Yes,” he groans, kissing her neck.
“It’s what I’ve always wanted,” she whispers. “You.”
He can’t hold back any longer and he’s calling her name, the image blurring and disappearing before his eyes. And she’s there, before him, leaning against the console in that cocky, self-assured way she always did.
“Have you missed me?” she asks.
“Yes,” he chokes.
She fades away before him and he tries to reach out for her, but she’s gone. Tessa appears in front of him, her eyes filled with concern.
“Chakotay? Are you OK?”
“I love her,” he gasps. “Always. That’s all there is to say.”
Tessa nods, swallowing the pain the truth brings her, though she’s always known it. Known it since she met him. He has no idea how many times he’s called her, Kathryn by mistake. She’s never called him on it. She just accepted it.
“I know,” she responds. “I just needed to hear you say it.”
She gets up and pats his shoulder, moving away to the back of the shuttle.
“I’m sorry,” he says to the empty room. His head drops to his chest before finally, he looks up at the console and continues with his preparations.
“Have you missed me?” The words are uttered into the silence in a voice he barely recognises as his own.
“You know I have….” comes the reply inside his head.
“I hope so. Just don’t pull away from me, Kathryn.”
“I won’t. Come back to me and you’ll see,” her voice echoes through his mind.
He shakes his head sadly, he knows that deep down, if this works and they erase the last 15 years away, she’ll pull back from him. That night only existed under the proviso of them reaching home. There’s no room for them in the Delta Quadrant. If it fails, he’s still lost her. Either way, he’s destined to live with a broken heart and the ghost of what could have been.
Imagine them in their honeymoon. Just do it, close your eyes, forget every shitty thing you know about this two and just imagine them in their honeymoon. 🖖🖖🖖❤❤❤
She sits in a grey chair.
It’s so alike in color to her chair on the bridge of Voyager, where they
would lean in towards each other in close conference. Thousands of words were spoken over those
grey chairs, but those words hold no comparison to the quiet that she now sits
in.
This chair is plusher, and it rocks lightly as she taps her
foot on the floor. The wings rising out
from the sides give her a soft place to rest her head. The shadow cast on the
wall of the darkened by the small nightlight dances and weaves as Kathryn hums
a quiet melody. Chakotay thought that he’s
never seen anything more elegant in his life.
She’s spent many hours seated here. It’s in a way the
command chair of their home, but Chakotay sees it as her throne. Here she is
more regal, more beautiful, and more graceful than at any other time in the years that he’s
known her. Here, where she sits with an oversized pillow across her lap, and a tiny
head of downy black locks at her breast.
Their daughter gives a sleepy sigh and pulls her head away
from her mother, her tiny hand patting Kathryn’s breast. Chakotay rises from
where he sat at the foot of their bed and gently lifts the tiny Kessa from her
mother’s arms. Wiping an errant dribble from Kessa’s chin, he places the infant
in her bassinette. He has to pause before turning away. He has to look at her
and remind himself that someday she’ll be grown and that these are the days that he’ll
want to remember.
Next to their daughter, sleeps their son. Chakotay lifts
Caylem gently as the baby greets him with smiling warmth. Turning back to his
wife, he sees that she is ready. She’s rearranged the robe that she’s wearing
and takes their son in the opposite arm that held their daughter. Caylem roots gently at her breast to find
what he’s looking for. When he does, his whole little body gives a wiggle of
celebration. As he latches on, Kathryn
lets her head rest against the wing of the chair. Her fingers graze lightly
over his perfect pink cheek, his tiny ear, his soft brown hair.
Chakotay goes back to his spot at the foot of the bed and
waits for his wife and son to finish. He’ll put Caylem in his bed, and then
bring his wife to theirs. But for now, as for so many hours, over so many nights,
over so many weeks, she’ll sit in a plush grey chair, rocking slowly, humming
lightly, deserving a crown.
For @cheile who requested babyfic/a follow up to Overcome when I asked for fluffy prompts.
Oh wow, this is so….wow.
How can you describe such a simple, tiny moment so wonderfully and with such overwhelming love?
I adore this without bounds.
Oh, oh my goodness @rawkfemme! This was so simple and so beautiful and elegant. Brings back my own memories and transports me to another place. Thank you!
Girls don’t want boys, girls want Seven of Nine in a Starfleet uniform.
She’s a civilian. She never went to the academy. She doesn’t have a rank. And she’s not even a member of the starfleet. Why on earth (or on whatever planet) she should wear a starfleet uniform? She’s not even entitled to wear it. Stop it.
If the Maquis are wearing a Starfleet uniform since season 1, she has the right to wear one as well as a member of the crew.
The only reason she is wearing a tight catsuit with heels is to please the male viewers.
I guess MIles O’Brien isn’t entitled to wear the uniform either then.
Correct me if I’m wrong, but Picard gave Wesley a field promotion to Ensign and let him wear the uniform before he even went to the Academy.
Seven could’ve easily been given a field promotion, or just let her fucking wear a uniform without pips/rank so she would’ve felt included as part of the crew.
It’s so easy to see how they could have given her a uniform for in universe reasons. So many easy ways. Not the least because Voyager has to do a lot of things differently in the Delta Quadrant. Arguing with in universe reasons for her to stay in the catsuit quickly becomes silly becomes we all know nothing within the Star Trek universe demanded Jeri Ryan to wear a suit that literally made it hard for her to breathe. So when I personally say “Give her a starfleet uniform”, I’m actually saying: I really, really wish Jeri Ryan’s health and the integrity of the character had been more important to the creators of Voyager than the idea of a “borg babe” was.
Also? Even if they didn’t give her a Starfleet uniform, there is no damn reason her civilian clothing had to be a catsuit – see the tunics Janeway wears off duty, or B’Elanna’s dresses, or Kes’ every day wear (and also Keiko O’Brien and Kasidy Yates, etc – there are any number of examples) so this argument that ~she’s not a true member of Starfleet~ still does not justify the catsuit at all.
This. Seven deserves the same uniform the Maquis got. A field promotion. Something.
Also, in the one episode where she wear one, she looks amazing.
Miles is entitled to wear the uniform, because he’s enlisted. He talks about how he joined Starfleet. Officers go to the Academy, but there are enlisted ranks who train somewhere else.
Lol I wasn’t actually looking for this exact moment but it fits. The woman saved their asses all the time. Pretty sure a uniform wouldn’t be too much to ask. This one was particularly nice (from Relativity, I believe.)
bekjaneway 