Tag: kathryn janeway

Alone

“You didn’t poison the coffee did you?”

“Not any more than I usually do.”

I smile at him and he chuckles, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. He is still feeling uneasy, and this bothers me, but then again, I am too. I don’t want this to become a problem for us. I don’t want this rift that seems to have been slowly growing where our friendship once blossomed. I make up my mind then. He has to know. He has to know that I can’t do this without him. 

“Chakotay,” I start, setting down my mug, we need to talk.

He sits down his mug as well and looks up.

“I hate what we’ve become.” I admit, standing up and striding over to the couch, “We can’t afford to stop trusting each other, we can’t afford to be afraid to talk to one another.”

“I agree,” he says coming to sit beside me, “I don’t want to feel like that again, not knowing if you’re on my side or not.”

“I know what you mean. I don’t think I could do this without your support.”

He turns to look at me, and we make eye contact. I can see the truth in his eyes. I’ve missed being able to read him so well.

“You could if you had to.”

There is silence then, each of us thinking about this disturbing prospect. I inch closer to him on the cushion and lay my head on his shoulder, needing to feel close to him again. Chakotay stiffens at first, then relaxes, and eventually wraps an arm around my shoulders, pulling me closer.

“I’m glad I don’t have to.”

– K

Onward

It had been an infinitely long and difficult journey. But they had made it. Finally.

They were home. Home at last.

Captain Janeway stood at the viewport, gazing at the beautiful blue and green orb, unsure about exactly what to think. The door chimed and she turned.

“Come.”

Chakotay entered, carrying a large variety of PADDs, undoubtedly requiring her attention. Before he could tell her about them, however, he sensed that something was off with her. Setting the work aside, he turned to face her.

“Are you alright, Kathryn?”

Janeway turned away from him slightly, not making eye contact.

“Of course.”

Chakotay didn’t believe her. Not for a second. After all this time, he knew when something was bothering her.

“Everything’s going to be just fine, Kathryn. You got us all home. Thanks to you the crew can move on with their lives now.”

Kathryn turned back to him now, tears brimming in her eyes.

“That’s just it, Chakotay”

“What,” Chakotay asked, worried, “what’s wrong?”

“I can’t… I can’t lose you, Chakotay.”

A wave of relief washed over Chakotay. Everything was going to be ok, he realized and smiled. He took a step closer to Kathryn and lightly grasped her hands, pulling her to him.

“Kathryn, look at me.”

Kathryn did as she was told, gazing up into the warm brown eyes.

“Kathryn, you could never lose me. I will always be with you, no matter what.”

“Oh, Chakotay…”

Kathryn reached up and wrapped her arms around him, reveling in the reassuring embrace. Minutes later, she pulled away slightly and turned back to the view outside. Suddenly completely content, for the first time in nearly seven years.

– K

A Sacrifice

“Chakotay”, I whisper, “I’m so sorry”

“You don’t have to do this Kathryn, we’ll find another way.”

Yes, I do, I want to say.

But instead, I reach for you. Letting myself, for the first time, feel completely safe in your strong arms.

“Time to go.”

I am pulled, roughly, from your embrace. I see the anger and longing flash quickly in your eyes. Then I see your pain.

I cannot bear to see your pain. I look away.

I am so sorry.

“Get them home” I manage, as I lock my gaze with yours, for the very last time.

Please

The captain stood before her viewport, her mind a chaos of fear and regret. The chime was unable to penetrate her thoughts, but the man outside was persistent.

Again the sound, breaking the woman from her reprieve.

Kathryn turned to the offending barrier.

“Kathryn?”

Still, she did not speak.

“Kathryn, let me help.”

But the captain could not surrender, not ever.

“Kathryn, please” whispered the man, desperately.

But it was too late. They were all too late.

Today, she paid the price.

Today, she would fix everything.

Kathryn Janeway turned back to the lines of stars, blurred by unshed tears.

-K