kjaneway314:

Alone

“You didn’t poison the coffee did you?”

“Not any more than I usually do.”

I smile at him and he chuckles, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. He is still feeling uneasy, and this bothers me, but then again, I am too. I don’t want this to become a problem between us. I don’t want this rift that seems to have been slowly growing where our friendship once blossomed. I make up my mind then. He has to know. He has to know that I can’t do this without him. 

“Chakotay,” I start, setting down my mug, we need to talk.

He sits down his mug as well and looks up.

“I hate what we’ve become.” I admit, standing up and striding over to the couch, “We can’t afford to stop trusting each other, we can’t afford to be afraid to talk to one another.”

“I agree,” he says coming to sit beside me, “I don’t want to feel like that again, not knowing if you’re on my side or not.”

“I know what you mean. I don’t think I could do this without your support.”

He turns to look at me, and we make eye contact. I can see the truth in his eyes. I’ve missed being able to read him so well.

“You could if you had to.”

There is silence then, each of us thinking about this disturbing prospect. I inch closer to him on the cushion and lay my head on his shoulder, needing to feel close to him again. Chakotay stiffens at first, then relaxes, and eventually wraps an arm around my shoulders, pulling me closer.

“I’m glad I don’t have to.”

– K

kjaneway314:

The nerve of this man! How dare he think that she would be okay with this, that she would want to do this?

Chakotay had invited Kathryn, via comm message during her latest mission, to visit his new home in Southern Indiana. He had offered to cook her dinner and explained that he had a new friend living with him that he wanted her to meet.

A “young and beautiful” new friend.

How dare he?

She knew from experience that it was difficult to maintain a relationship with someone who was constantly traveling off-planet, but would he really want to throw away everything they had built between them since Voyager’s homecoming?

Had he finally gotten tired of waiting?

As she stepped up onto the front porch, Kathryn Janeway conjured her best attempt at a cheerful smile, hoping this dinner would end quickly. Raising her fist, she knocked firmly on the door. Soon after, a grinning Chakotay pulled it open.

Damn, he looked good.

“Kathryn! It’s so good to see you!”

Still smiling he reached out and pulled her into an unexpected hug. Surprised, Kathryn resisted for a second, but soon relaxed into his embrace and wove her arms around his waist.

“It’s good to see you too. Where is she?”

Cringing at her own bluntness, she pulled back from Chakotay. He smiled at her and let out a gentle laugh.

“You’re going to love her Kathryn. Come with me.”

Taking hold of her hand, Chakotay pulled Kathryn behind him into the main living area.

“Kathryn Janeway, meet Penny.”

Kathryn stopped dead in her tracks. On the couch in the far corner of the room sat the most adorable puppy she had ever seen. Relieved beyond measure, she strode over to the couch and scooped the tiny dog into her arms. She looked up to see Chakotay, still smiling, watching her.

How could she ever doubt him?

Suddenly, she realized her eyes were becoming moist and swiped at them, embarrassed.

“What’s wrong?” Chakotay asked, worried he had done something.

“Nothing, I just thought…” Kathryn trailed off.

“You thought what?” Chakotay prompted, confused.

Janeway looked down at the puppy wiggling contentedly in her arms and smiled.

God, she loved this man.

“Nevermind.”

– K

kjaneway314:

Kathryn Janeway had no idea when this had happened. How could she have let this go so far? Something had to be done, yes, something had to be done.

Somewhere over the years, she had lost her judgment. She had given in.

But what was she to do?

Suddenly, she found herself thinking back to when it had all began. When her biggest problem had first presented itself.

It had been years ago, in the middle of a duty shift, right there on the bridge.

It had been a completely uneventful and unbelievably boring shift until Paris had made one of his typical childish jokes that had left the entire bridge crew consumed in fits of laughter.

She, unaware of the impacts, had reached out and placed her hand on Chakotay’s shoulder.

He had turned his face to look at her, surprised at first as she was, but then smiled gently. Showing a hint of those dimples. And in that moment, she had lost control for only a split-second, but that was everything.

She had felt something.

Something long repressed and long denied.

Damn those dimples.

Since then, she had found herself reaching out to him more and more.

Wanting, desperately, to recreate the feeling of that first time.

Wanting, desperately, to feel again.

It had started simply. A comforting hand here, and a gentle brush there.

But it had quickly become more.

Weekly dinners, started on the pretext of ship functionality, had all been her idea. Her way of maximizing their time spent together.

Her hand on his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart, had the power to bring the most complete feeling of calm.

Hand holding, even on duty, as a means of her own comfort. As a reminder. She wasn’t alone.

Staying on the bridge, way beyond the end of her shift. Not because she wasn’t exhausted, as she always pretended, but because he still had two hours left.

Sitting, maybe just a little too close, because he was her pillar of strength. And because she belonged there.

She really ought to get this under control. After all, a captain could not afford even the smallest distraction.

But maybe it was time she just admitted it.

She needed Chakotay to lean on.

Figuratively.

and literally

-K

kjaneway314:

It had been an infinitely long and difficult journey. But they had made it. Finally.

They were home. Home at last.

Captain Janeway stood at the viewport, gazing at the beautiful blue and green orb, unsure about exactly what to think. The door chimed and she turned.

“Come.”

Chakotay entered, carrying a large variety of PADDs, undoubtedly requiring her attention. Before he could tell her about them, however, he sensed that something was off with her. Setting the work aside, he turned to face her.

“Are you alright, Kathryn?”

Janeway turned away from him slightly, not making eye contact.

“Of course.”

Chakotay didn’t believe her. Not for a second. After all this time, he knew when something was bothering her.

“Everything’s going to be just fine, Kathryn. You got us all home. Thanks to you the crew can move on with their lives now.”

Kathryn turned back to him now. Tears brimming in her eyes.

“That’s just it, Chakotay”

“What,” Chakotay asked, worried, “what’s wrong?”

“I can’t… I can’t lose you, Chakotay.”

A wave of relief washed over Chakotay. Everything was going to be ok, he realized and smiled. He took a step closer to Kathryn and lightly grasped her hands, pulling her to him.

“Kathryn, look at me.”

Kathryn did as she was told, gazing up into the warm brown eyes.

“Kathryn, you could never lose me. I will always be with you, no matter what.”

“Oh, Chakotay…”

Kathryn reached up and wrapped her arms around him, reveling in the reassuring embrace. Minutes later, she pulled away slightly and turned back to the view outside. Suddenly completely content, for the first time in nearly seven years.

– K